Once

Pain.

Heart-wrenching. 

Frustrating. 

Yet stubborness and desire are the two things that are on par in preventing any bit of effort. Stubborn to be unwilling to keep fighting for things to be fixed. Desire to be fought for. 

A desire for change. 

A desire to be worth it. 

A desire to be understood. 

A desire to be enough. 

There are two sides to a coin, to a story, to a fence. And if you were never to flip the side or the page, or to just cross over… You will only see one side – the view from where you stand. 

I invited you to come over. You didn’t try. 

I described what I see in front of me. I asked if there were some thorns near your feet. I tell you how my side looks like. Not much of it seem to reach your ears with the distance we had. 

And when you described your scenery of – not from where, but of β€“ where you stood, I disagreed. It didn’t really match. But instead of trying more to help me see what you see, you turned away. 

This time, I choose not to follow you. I choose not to call out to you. 

I stayed where I am. And you didn’t even look back. 

For once, I wanted you to come over. Tell me I’m wrong. Ask me why. Tell me what you really felt. Ask me how. 

For once, I wanted you to take my hand and bring me over to see your place and place me in the same footprints of where you were and help me see. 

For once, I wanted you to stand in front of me and tell me what’s wrong. What needs to be done. What didn’t get across. 

For once, I wanted you to try… 

But…

Here we are. Distance growing. Backs turned. Just waiting. 

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